DISCLAIMER: WE IN NO ONE ENDORSE OR SUPPORT THE CONSUMPTION OF ILLEGAL DRUGS.
Who am I kidding? Smoke all the weed you want. We will cover drugs (including alcohol) and how they affect your professionalism in another article. Now let’s talk about something much more helpful, marijuana laws around the country. You don’t have to be a comic to benefit from this article, just one who travels and smokes pot. You know, musicians and shit too.
Many comics smoke, not as many as I thought when I first started, but still a significant number of joke tellers partake, at least occasionally in Marijuana. We are not going to talk about other drugs today, just marijuana. If interest exists we will create a drinking laws post in the near future.
I am breaking it down really simply. I am going to list Marijuana Laws by each state for when possession of Marijuana becomes arrestable.
Oh, and this is JUST for possession. It does not include smoking publicly or driving stoned. Both of those are still not legal pretty much anywhere in the United States, so don’t be a fucking idiot. Be discreet, dummies.
Finally, if any info in this article seems incorrect, please leave a comment and we will research and get it corrected!
In Alabama possession of any amount of marijuana including stems and seeds is a Misdemeanor punishable by arrest and fines up to $6000 and 1 year in jail.
This varies depending on the area. Some areas of Alaska ALCOHOL isn’t even legal to possess. In Alaska, you are not arrested for possession unless you have more than an ounce on your person. Pretty Liberal policy for the state known for Grizzly Bears and Sarah Palin. Fine is up to $10,000 and 1 year in jail.
Watch the fuck out. The laws are not very tolerant to your stoner ass ways in Arizona. In fact, it is written that simple possession even for personal under 2 lbs is a felony. Jesus. How it ends up turning out in court may be different then a felony being stuck on your record, but Arizona sounds like the wrong state to get pulled over with a dime bag! Note, Arizona is the ONLY state in the country that treats simple possession of Marijuana as a FELONY. Punishable by arrest, fines up to $150,00 and jail for 4 months- Two Years…. Fuck.
This sate is oddly relaxed on pot for being in the South. You can be caught with up to 4 ounces of marijuana in Arkansas and it is a simple misdemeanor that you have to come back and go to court for, no arrest. Possible fines are up to $1000 and maximum 1 year in jail.
Knows how to party. Clearly we all think people are just throwing around marijuana in public and smoking blunts on the streets, but it is not quite THAT legal. In fact, it’s still illegal, just decriminalized. You can possess up to 1 ounce of marijuana before you will be arrested. That’s pretty dope. Pun intended. More than an ounce and you go to jail and face $500 in fines and up to 6 months in jail. Get a pot card. It’s safer.
Ok, it is really a green state now. You don’t get arrested for possession in Colorado until you possess on your person more than two ounces at one time. You don’t even get a ticket before that. Fine is up to $700 and you could possibly, though HIGHly unlikely do up to 12 months in jail. Remember, this state has legalized marijuana. If you are a stoner, Colorado is a pretty safe state to drive through and visit.
Pretty laid back about Weed here. You can possess up to 1/2 ounce of pot and they will just take it and write you a ticket. Hell, you can even possess up to four ounces and the first time around they will just take it and write you a ticket. Just don’t get busted a 2nd time with that much weed, then it’s a felony.
New legislation taking effect in December of 2015 allows folks to carry up to an ounce or less of marijuana with no criminal charges. A simple civil offense punishable by $100 fine is the rule. No big deal in Delaware! Seems many states are following suit with this type of recent law change.
District of Columbia (Washington D.C.)
Possession of marijuana is legal in Washington D.C. You can have up to two ounces and even grow some at home. Don’t smoke in public though, politicians/police hate that and you still go to jail.
Doesn’t matter how much weed you have in Florida. As they have proven with the other ridiculous laws like “Stand Your Ground” they don’t know what the fuck they are doing. It is arrestable to have ANY quantity of marijuana on you in Florida. Up to 20 grams is just a misdemeanor with up to $1000 fine. After that, you enter felony land.
Not much different from Florida, Georgia takes you to jail for any level of Marijuana possession. It’s a misdemeanor with up to 1 year and jail and $1000 fine.
Bummer that these ‘laid back’ folks are so harsh on Pot. While they have legalized medical marijuana, it is still an arrestable misdemeanor to have marijuana of any amount in your possession. You could face up to 30 days in jail and a $1000 fine.
Marijuana possession of any amount up to three ounces is a misdemeanor with up to a year in jail and $1000 fine. I am sensing a recurring theme here, that weed laws are old and they used to all be exactly the same.
You go to jail for possession of marijuana in Illinois. It’s a fucking felony if you have over 30 grams (just over an ounce). Jesus.
It is illegal to possess any amount of marijuana in Indiana. As with Illinois it becomes a felony after 30 grams. Hoosier dicks.
Looks like Iowa is on route to changing its current strict marijuana laws. Possession under current state law is arrestable as a serious misdemeanor, but legislation is going up for the vote this year to change it so that possession of up to five grams will become a simple citation. That’s a fat 1/8th of weed. Come on guys, I roll Blunts that big.
This state is such a bore to drive through you will feel like weed is going to NEED to be with you to make it. Well, they must know that, currently you are arrested for possessing any amount of marijuana. You are subject to 1 year in jail and $1000 fine as well. Do it again, Boom, felony. Fuck.
The state’s #1 cash crop (That’s right, the blue grass state grows lots of other shades of ‘grass’) is now being treated a lot differently than it used to be. Now you are not subject to arrest for simple possession. In fact, you can have up to EIGHT ounces and just get a simple ticket, like you were speeding. Yeah of course they take your weed too. After 8 ounces, though, it’s a felony. So don’t be bringing half pounds up in that bitch. Jail time for the misdemeanor is nothing, 35 days and a $250 fine. Good job Kentucky!
This state is mostly known to people who don’t live their for New Orleans. The state, however, is far more conservative than that amazing little city, unfortunately. Legislation is possibly about to change the laws to make them softer on possession of small amounts of Marijuana, however, in the meantime, watch out. You are arrested for possession of any amount with a misdemeanor with about $500 and up to 6 months in jail. They also still have a three strike law for mandatory sentences that hopefully will end. Under this law, get caught with pot three times you go to prison for up to 12 years. Jazzy.
What a weird state. Awesome, but weird. Maine decriminalized possession of marijuana up to 2.5 ounces with a simple citation. In the city of Portland, the local legislators passes a city-wide ordinance allowing pot to be completely legal. Only problem is, it’s still not seen that way by the state, so, no bong hits in town square.
Maryland is pretty chill about reefer. You can have up to 10 grams and just get a ticket. You go to jail if it is 10.1 grams though. Seems like this would be hard to determine from a traffic stop, unless the cop used to sell weed and is really good at eyeballing. Fine for over 10 grams is $1000 with up to 1 year in jail.
This is another progressive state when it comes to marijuana. You can have up to an ounce and still not go to jail. Over 1 ounce and you are arrested and face $500 fine and up to 6 months in jail.
Weed is legal for medical use in Michigan. I don’t have verified information on whether possession is arrestable, but from the articles I have read it seems that people are not frequently arrested for possession of small amounts, but are arrested for smoking publicly as it is a separate law being broken. Regardless, possession of any amount is up to 1 year in jail and $1000 fine. Don’t do it in a public park, that shit goes up to 2 years in jail. Think about the children!
You don’t get arrest for possession of smaller quantities of marijuana in Minnesota. In fact, it is a citation with up to $200 fine for possession of up to 42.5 grams (as much as white people feel comfortable having in their pockets). After that, you get a FELONY CHARGE for anything above that. That’s like “pot friendly, not friendly”….. Possession of more than 42.56968594830678 grams (I made that fraction up to highlight the ridiculousness of the weight cut off) is punishable by up to 5 year in jail and $10,000 in fines. Some much for rolling around with z’s.
Oh lord, this is going to be good. Conservative, Bible smacking, flag raising Mississippi……actually has some of the most relaxed pot laws in the SOUTH. You can posses up to 30 grams and simply get a citation and $250 fine. Over 30 grams, like Minnesota FELONY. This time 3 years in jail and up to $3,000 in fines.
This one is foggy, pun completely intended. Perhaps my Missourian readers could clear this one up. On one hand I am reading it is a minor misdemeanor for possession of up to 35 grams of marijuana. On the other hand I am reading an article about a Missouri football player being arrested for simple possession only to later in the article say he wasn’t arrested. So your guess is as good as mine. Either way, the state considers simple possession a misdemeanor with up to 1 year in jail and $1000 in fines.
Possession of less than 60 grams is a misdemeanor that is not arrestable unless accompanied by other offenses. Oddly, if you pass a joint they still have a law on that books that means you could face up to life in prison (link). Simple possession threatens up to six months in jail and a $500 fine.
Woah Nebraska, you are mighty progressive when it comes to pot to be the birthplace of Larry the Cable Guy… You can possess up to 1 ounce and just get a citation. What if you have 15 ounces? Well, then they take you to jail, but still the fines and jail time are minimal with 3 months and $500 fine. Yeah, from over 1 ounce to 1 lb is a minor misdemeanor. Omaha, we are coming to visit you, we have heard you have quite the little comedy scene:)
I expect desert states to be assholes when it comes to weed now that I know about Arizona’s laws. However, Nevada seems to cling to the profitability of “sin” by having marijuana decriminalized for adults. You can possess up to an ounce and just get a ticket. Do that four times in a row though and it becomes a felony. At that point though, maybe you shouldn’t be doing stuff to get cops attention, ya know? First citation for possession carries up to $600 in fines.
You can be arrested for possessing small amounts of marijuana in New Hampshire. They are working on fixing this. Legislation, like with many other states, is in the process of becoming law that would allow possession of up to 1/2 ounce of marijuana without arrest. Again, a simple citation. Currently, simple possession is punishable by arrest and up to 1 year in prison and fines up to $2000.
Medical Marijuana is legal in the state of New Jersey. Also, did you know that New Jersey has more horses per square mile than any other state? What was I saying? Oh yeah, the state is leaning heavily towards legalizing marijuana completely, but in the meantime, you can go to jail for possessing marijuana if you aren’t a legal patient prescribed it. You also face up to $1000 in fines and 6 months is jail. New Jersey Jail…
Again, this is a Medicial Marijuana state. You get a medical card, you are good to go (learn more). Possession is not arrestable in New Mexico, take that Arizona jerks. Don’t understand that, scroll up and read Arizona’s laws. They whack, son… Anywho, you can posses up to an ounce and you get a $100 ticket in New Mexico. Don’t be surprised if they legalize completely within the next year, however.
New York City is KNOWN for arresting people by the hundreds every week for possession of marijuana. Well, those days are over. Now they don’t arrest you until you possess more than 25 grams of weed. That’s perfect for a moderate size party if you decide to bring that instead of a cheese tray. Now they supposedly just write you a ticket and send you on your way. If the weed is in your possession and it is “publicly viewable” then you go to jail. Oh, NY. You just don’t want to SEE what goes on, do you?
I lived in North Carolina from 2006-2009. In that time I would say the state had some pretty harsh views on marijuana. Folks were pretty paranoid when smoking etc while I lived in the area. My return trips are showing me the attitudes are changing, however. They are making a push to get medical legalized in the state (Thanks Asheville!) however, the Conservative leadership is not feeling it. Marijuana possession of up to 1 and 1/2 ounce (40 grams) is not arrestable in North Carolina. You get a citation and max $1000 fine. Man, I need to get back to Carolina Beach for a spell:)
This state remains stuck in time. Marijuana is not legal for medical use or for personal use despite it’s neighbors to the east and west having moved forward with decriminalization. Any amount of marijuana up to 1 ounce is arrestable and punishable with up to 30 days in jail and $1500 in fines. Over 1 ounce, forget about it, it’s a FELONY with 5 years in jail and $10,000 in fines for your stoner ass. Praise Jesus, amen, God Bless you Never Forget (unless it’s the Indians we chase out, then forget) pew pew<—Gun shots in the air like a rancher.
Ohio is in the middle of a controversy that may have already ended by the time you read this. Responsible Ohio is attempting to legalized marijuana statewide, but unlike how Colorado did it, wants the main financial supporters of the ballot to oversee the growth of all of the marijuana that is sold in state. Some say this is a monopoly, it’s more of an oligopoly, but either way, people won’t be punished for having small amounts of marijuana. Currently you are not arrested for possession under 100 grams. They write you a ticket. Ohio State Police, however are some of the toughest in the country. Don’t have a tail light out, stoners. They will see it and smell you. (Note: I lived in Ohio for 30+ years)
Ugh, these laws blow. Critics call the marijuana possession laws in Oklahoma among the toughest in the country. It was even voted the “Worst place to get busted with Pot” by Alternet.org. Possess any amount of marijuana and you are going to jail. Do it twice and you face up to a decade in prison and a felony on your record. No thank, I would rather just be sober while in Oklahoma, or better yet, NOT GO TO OKLAHOMA. Note: I have friends there, so I probably would risk sobriety.
I can almost hear the reggae music, played by an entirely white band, now. Portland’s Voodoo Donuts have let the whole world know that Oregon loves Pot, just by default. I mean, a maple donut with a strip of bacon on it. That MAKES me want to light up. Marijuana is legal now in Oregon and on October 1st they will begin allowing dispensaries to open up. You have no pot worries while in Oregon.
You are NOT put in jail for possession of marijuana in Pennsylvania unless it exceeds 30 grams. You get cited, go to court and face up to 3 months in jail and a $500 fine. Over 30 grams you could face 1 year in jail and $5000 in fines.
The marijuana laws in Rhode Island are pretty chill. You can possess up to an ounce of pot and like many other states, just get it taken and receive a citation. The fine is up to $150. You don’t go to jail until you possess over an ounce. You don’t get a felony until you possess over 1 Kilogram. (because apparently they weigh it like cocaine after that…)
You are arrested for possession of any amount of marijuana in the state of South Carolina. This makes trips to Myrtle Beach a total bummer. Who wants to see the Kenny Chesney museum without a little Purple Kush flowing through their veins, right? Ok that museum doesn’t exist yet, but it will. Anywho, possession of up to 1 ounce is an arrestable misdemeanor punishable by a mild 30 days in jail and $200 fine.
South Dakota is not a decriminalized state when it comes to Marijuana. Possession of even trace amounts of marijuana can result in arrest. This is punishable with up to 1 year in jail and $2000 in fines. Over 2 ounces in your possession? FELONY Yikes. Local groups are working to decriminalize and expect this could take place by 2016.
This is where I live at the time of this blog posting. The state arrests you for any amount of marijuana. Under 1/2 ounce and it is a misdemeanor punishable by a MANDITORY fine of $250 and up to 1 year in jail. Second offense, same thing, large fine, $500. More than 1/2 ounce? FELONY. Go Vols. Tennessee, along with Kentucky is one of the top producers of outdoor grown marijuana in the country. Don’t get excited, most of it is schwag.
Don’t mess with Texas, you fucking hippies. Weed is illegal, even in Austin. You go to jail for simple possession with fines up to $2,000 and max 180 days in jail. What, you have a quarter pound? FELONY!! Y’all come back now, ya hear?
Marijuana use is punishable by public hanging. Ok, that’s not true, you DO get arrested for simple possession, but the fines and jail time are 1 year in jail and $1000 fine. Over 1 ounce but less than 1 lb? Still a misdemeanor. Not so bad Utah, I mean, you ARE neighbors with Colorado. 2nd hand smoke seems to be working out.
Vermont is a decriminalized state. They became this way in 2013. You are issued a citation for possession up to one ounce. Would we expect anything less from the state that gave us Bernie Sanders? Now, how about you get to legalizing it completely? Jeesh, I mean PHISH is from Vermont for crying out loud.
Marijuana is legal in Washington. You may possess up to 1 ounce before it becomes an issue law enforcement is supposed to give a shit about. Even then, they still might look the other way.
Possession of any amount of marijuana is reason for arrest in West Virginia. This is punishable with fines up $1,000 and jail time anywhere from 90 days to 6 months. Oh and the state has ONE area code and is 95% white. Yeesh. I have hippie friends there, but they don’t praise the place for its progressiveness.
It’s a little more complex in Wisconsin. It seems cities are adopting decriminalization laws but the entire state is still not decriminalized, yet. You could face up to six months in jail for possessing a few joints in some cities, while in Madison, Wisconsin you get nothing. I would advise talking to folks that live where you are going to be safe. Also, don’t roll dirty, i.e. smoke while driving.
Wyoming is fighting decriminalization. It remains a crime to possess any amount of marijuana. That means you go to jail with a nug up to three ounces. This is punishable with a year in jail and $1,000 fine. More than three ounces and FELONY. You could see up to 5 years in jail and $10,00 in fines. FUCK.WYOMING.
Summary: The country seems to be moving towards more progressive marijuana laws save Arizona. This means less people in jail for no reason and less fear in the hearts of stoner stand-up comedians that like to tour. AGAIN, if any info in this article seems incorrect, please leave a comment and we will research and get it corrected! Share this resource while you can, it won’t be accurate in a year, hopefully!
*Sourced from http://norml.org/LAWS and news stories from local and national web sites*